Monday, March 8, 2010

The POOR American.

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 am.

While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor(MADE IN HONG KONG).

He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA)

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with GAS (from Saudi Arabia) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.


At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer (Made In Malaysia), Joe decided to relax for a while.

He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of coffee (MADE IN INDIA) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA),and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA.

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Blonde Pole Dancer and SNOW!!

Look below to find a Blonde Pole Dancer
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Found them on the web

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Paranormal (In)Activity

Whats the first sign that a horror movie is total bull****?
Ans. You have extremely heavy eye lids right through till the interval!! And the last 10 minutes that do have some conventional horror compared to which even a B-Grade movie could do better do not actually scare, it surprises you. The Poltergeist was almost non-existent. The old lady in my building could scare you worse in dim light. They said that this movie will make you think twice before closing your eyes to go to sleep. I think they can put an insomniac to the deepest blissful slumber.


http://campblood.org/Newblog/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/paranormalactivity.jpg

I have seen my share of super flops from both hollywood and bollywood. But this SUCKS BIG TIME!! All in all spare yourself the torture and don't watch this. Instead buy the orignal DVD for The Exorcist series. This movie is only to be recommended to your enemies if you have any and all your exes.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Mr. & Mrs. Kore are at it again!!!

Mr. and Mrs. Reddy are watching tv along with their 8 year old son Raji. Mrs. Reddy looks at m.r Reddy with a coy smile and winks. The husband gets the message but how to get rid of his son. He comes up with an idea:

Mr. Reddy: Tell you what Raji, lets play a game. If you can describe what is exactly happening on the street below from our balcony non-stop for the next 30 minutes then you get bicycle you wanted.

Raji thinking it a real easy task grabs the opportunity leaving his parents alone in the room.

Mr. Reddy: What do you see??

Raji: The dog is chasing the milkman, then Pramila aunty is bargaining with the fruit vendor. Shilpa, the colony babe has just returned with her boyfriend. And Mr. & Mrs. Kore are having sex.

Mr. Reddy: Bewildered, how can you see that from the balcony??

Raji: No I cannot see them, but even their son is standing in their balcony :D

What an idea sirji

Monday, April 27, 2009

One more journey






Only a few posts have caused this much excitement to me while writing them. But this post is special in a different way of its own. It's about today's course by Virat bhaiya and Vasudha di that starts at 6 PM in Kandivali (East). One more journey of fun, knowledge and sharing with a totally new lot. The first day is usually the most chaotic one and the most fun as well. For new volunteers who are doing this for the first time its a totally new experience as they get to know what goes on behind the scenes of the course and the bliss they felt. And for us who have volunteered in the past too its worth watching their enthusiasm and watch them come ahead on the same path Guruji leads us on. And when you are lead by Guruji and are an instrument for his will then you are a force who gets the chance to bring change to the life several other individuals. And the change is visible instantenously. Right after their first course participants like Dharmesh & Riddhi have now become volunteers. And I can actually see the blossoming these guys are going through. And their time as leaders has already begun.

The same exercises shall be now done with renewed enthusiasm. Setting up the hall, welcome calls that usually end up as navigation calls for directions to the venue. Preparation of all the processes so they go smooth for the participants are all bits and pieces we volunteers get to do for the course. And in return we get to watch another batch of youth go through the same journey that we had started ourselves for the first time someday. After meeting the master our lives were never the same again. The joy that we now feel in sharing the knowledge with youth like us is beyond comparison. I could tell you about it here because it is an experience you must feel for yourself. And I promise that these seven days of your life will be unforgettable, no matter wherever you are or whatever you do. This experience will be that glowing joy that will never fade.



This journey is wonderful with new experiences waiting at every step of the way. One only has to take that first initiative and the rest shall magically fall in place.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Children obedience??

The word Obey comes from the Latin word: oboedire. Which itself is made of two words ob "to" + audire "listen, hear" (similar to audience). And when we think of obedience training which is more related to dogs and pets the most common thing is walking the pets. See how these parents are adding a twist (a rather sick one) to the term.

You decide what to call it. I call it total laziness for starters and lack of feelings towards children. no offence but all normal loving parents usually carry their children in their arms or hold hands. And we wonder why there are so many wars and riots when parents are treating their children like animals.














Thursday, March 26, 2009

Outrageous

871531200000.00
Thats Eighty Seven Thousand One Hundred and Fifty Three Crores and Twelve Lac. (Only!?)

This is the amount that has gone for a walk in the accounts of certain unscrupulous characters running our nation. This money comes from our taxes paid and was meant for the purposes like rural development, upgradation of rural training institutes, training of farmers etc. So much could have been achieved if this money was put for its intended use.

One example of how our money is being misused is understatement of the balances of the Universal Service Obligation Fund (USO). USO came into effect on he 1st of April 2002, its purpose is to introduce access to basic telegraph facilities in rural and remote areas. I don't know how is basic defined in their dictionary. Cause they have marked 'basic' under quotes and bold text on their site. (http://www.dot.gov.in/uso/usoindex.htm) I'll give you statutory warning, this site is infected and has 5 instances of trojan infections. Please use a firewall and basic discretion.
The way these guys work is by collecting resources under the Universal Access Levy which is payable by all telecom service providers under various licenses. During the period of 2002-2003 to 2007-2008 the USO collected a total amount of Rs. 20404.44 crore and a total disbursement of Rs. 6371.44 crore. So the balance must naturally be 14033 crores. How about ZERO!?!? An amount as huge as Rs. 14033 crores cant just fallout of your wallet!! And it must be one heck of a feast for the ones (in DoT?) who gobbled it all up. Shocked!?! Read this report provided on the link below:
http://www.cag.gov.in/html/reports/civil/2007-08_CA13_civil/chap_2.pdf

It talks about how the entire sum of Rs. 871531200000.00 went missing. This issue was brought up in the parliament and nothing was done about it.

First thing that comes to my mind is to vote the current jokers out of the government. So go ahead and vote!! Vote responsibly after doing some research. Curb corruption going on around you. Dont take and offer bribes. If you are caught at a traffic light refrain from using the customary move 'kya saab mamla khatam karo na' (sir please finish this matter). A sizeable dent in your wallet will stop you making the mistake in the future. You can also do some good to your community by doing some voluntary service. Take the Art of Living course and then help organize more in your area.

Bawa's article on the same topic

Wanna save 20% on petrol?? Read this article for some tips and eye opening facts.

More coming up....
Jai Gurudev

-Jay

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Jokes....

After having failed his exam in “Logistics and Organization”, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student, “Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”

Professor, “Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”

Student, “Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an 'A' for the exam.”

Professor, “Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?”

Student: “What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?”

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an 'A', as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers, “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an 'A', although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical.”

Chocolate Street



For those of you who don't know this place: This is the choco lover's paradise in Mumbai. They call it Manish Market though some people use a different name. But its right beside Manish Market if you are travelling on Mohammed Ali Road. If you are a diabetic like me then stay away if you don't have a strong will (seriously) This place is crammed with chocolates and just looking at it can give the faint of the heart a sugar induced coma. Four lanes of shops each almost 100 meters long and all of them selling different varieties chocolates, candies, mints, jellies, marzipans, liquid chocolate fountains, marshmallows, mawa sweets, dry fruits and everything that can satisfy a sweet tooth at the lowest prices in Mumbai. One 350ml of Thousand Island Sauce that will cost Rs. 220 in Hypercity will cost you only Rs. 140-150 over here. This is where all the wholesalers buy their goods. And you don't need to buy enough to open a shop every time you come here. I always fetch Dark Chocolates, Mints and also a combination of the two. One such popular example is After Eight from Nestle, the Exotica brand available in Haiko's Powai, I dont know if they still stock it though. Or the ultimate Dark Chocolate + Mint chocs Whitaker's Dark Gold. However Exotica and Whitakers are specially imported by Haiko and Hypercity. You'll find many more varieties like a whole new range of Lindt which includes the plain classic Lindor, the mix flavoured Lindts or the premium dark chocolate Ghana range. Then there is Cote D' ur or something spelled like that etc.....

If you are a guy and your girlfriend loves chocolates then this place will earn you a million brownie points and you'll be able to save money too. I don't advise bringing your lady love along with you though. She might have you filing for bankruptcy before the day ends. This place is right after the Dava Bazaar gully when coming from Marine Lines station, try walking cause the traffic in this area is terrible and you'll waste a lot of time and money in a cab. Apart from just chocolates which are only a small part of this market You can also find travel bags, clothes, electronic and loads of other things over here. For sports goods you'll have to head to the Metro cinema lane. I usually come for chocolates here more than anything else. Don't worry I dont eat them, my girlfriend does.



Here's the latest purchase I made, contains mostly mints as she has already got many chocolates and as summer is approaching mints will become an endangered species.

Monday, February 23, 2009

A new weapon of choice

Just got a new table-tennis bat for myself!
I have been playing with my almost ancient GKI-5star which I had bought 6 years back. I still like that bat cause the rubber sheets are still spinny after so much use but now I feel it is the time for more speed rather than spin. And I really like the feel of the Jonyer-H-AN, it has a Red Sriver-FX for the backhand and Black Sriver for the Forehand. Prefer a bit more looping power on my forehand rather than the all out speed of the Sriver-FX. Took a couple of days to get used to the speed. The best thing I love when facing a player for the first time is when they place a shot long on my backhand and the ball blurs past leaving them lunging in futile.
I will buy the Boll TriCarbon with Bryce Speed rubbers as soon as I outgrow this bat (I have seen a player using this combination to lethal effect, I know I know every player is different BLAH BLAH. Thats the reason I am waiting for sometime to buy this bat. And this blade is like a nuclear bomb among other blades.) Till then planning to practise against better players to improve my game. Here's a video of my favourite player Timo Boll for you to see. Have a look and enjoy.

video