Monday, March 8, 2010

The POOR American.

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 am.

While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor(MADE IN HONG KONG).

He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA)

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with GAS (from Saudi Arabia) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.


At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer (Made In Malaysia), Joe decided to relax for a while.

He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of coffee (MADE IN INDIA) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA),and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA.

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Blonde Pole Dancer and SNOW!!

Look below to find a Blonde Pole Dancer
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Found them on the web

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Paranormal (In)Activity

Whats the first sign that a horror movie is total bull****?
Ans. You have extremely heavy eye lids right through till the interval!! And the last 10 minutes that do have some conventional horror compared to which even a B-Grade movie could do better do not actually scare, it surprises you. The Poltergeist was almost non-existent. The old lady in my building could scare you worse in dim light. They said that this movie will make you think twice before closing your eyes to go to sleep. I think they can put an insomniac to the deepest blissful slumber.


http://campblood.org/Newblog/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/paranormalactivity.jpg

I have seen my share of super flops from both hollywood and bollywood. But this SUCKS BIG TIME!! All in all spare yourself the torture and don't watch this. Instead buy the orignal DVD for The Exorcist series. This movie is only to be recommended to your enemies if you have any and all your exes.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Mr. & Mrs. Kore are at it again!!!

Mr. and Mrs. Reddy are watching tv along with their 8 year old son Raji. Mrs. Reddy looks at m.r Reddy with a coy smile and winks. The husband gets the message but how to get rid of his son. He comes up with an idea:

Mr. Reddy: Tell you what Raji, lets play a game. If you can describe what is exactly happening on the street below from our balcony non-stop for the next 30 minutes then you get bicycle you wanted.

Raji thinking it a real easy task grabs the opportunity leaving his parents alone in the room.

Mr. Reddy: What do you see??

Raji: The dog is chasing the milkman, then Pramila aunty is bargaining with the fruit vendor. Shilpa, the colony babe has just returned with her boyfriend. And Mr. & Mrs. Kore are having sex.

Mr. Reddy: Bewildered, how can you see that from the balcony??

Raji: No I cannot see them, but even their son is standing in their balcony :D

What an idea sirji

Monday, April 27, 2009

One more journey






Only a few posts have caused this much excitement to me while writing them. But this post is special in a different way of its own. It's about today's course by Virat bhaiya and Vasudha di that starts at 6 PM in Kandivali (East). One more journey of fun, knowledge and sharing with a totally new lot. The first day is usually the most chaotic one and the most fun as well. For new volunteers who are doing this for the first time its a totally new experience as they get to know what goes on behind the scenes of the course and the bliss they felt. And for us who have volunteered in the past too its worth watching their enthusiasm and watch them come ahead on the same path Guruji leads us on. And when you are lead by Guruji and are an instrument for his will then you are a force who gets the chance to bring change to the life several other individuals. And the change is visible instantenously. Right after their first course participants like Dharmesh & Riddhi have now become volunteers. And I can actually see the blossoming these guys are going through. And their time as leaders has already begun.

The same exercises shall be now done with renewed enthusiasm. Setting up the hall, welcome calls that usually end up as navigation calls for directions to the venue. Preparation of all the processes so they go smooth for the participants are all bits and pieces we volunteers get to do for the course. And in return we get to watch another batch of youth go through the same journey that we had started ourselves for the first time someday. After meeting the master our lives were never the same again. The joy that we now feel in sharing the knowledge with youth like us is beyond comparison. I could tell you about it here because it is an experience you must feel for yourself. And I promise that these seven days of your life will be unforgettable, no matter wherever you are or whatever you do. This experience will be that glowing joy that will never fade.



This journey is wonderful with new experiences waiting at every step of the way. One only has to take that first initiative and the rest shall magically fall in place.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Children obedience??

The word Obey comes from the Latin word: oboedire. Which itself is made of two words ob "to" + audire "listen, hear" (similar to audience). And when we think of obedience training which is more related to dogs and pets the most common thing is walking the pets. See how these parents are adding a twist (a rather sick one) to the term.

You decide what to call it. I call it total laziness for starters and lack of feelings towards children. no offence but all normal loving parents usually carry their children in their arms or hold hands. And we wonder why there are so many wars and riots when parents are treating their children like animals.














Thursday, March 26, 2009

Outrageous

871531200000.00
Thats Eighty Seven Thousand One Hundred and Fifty Three Crores and Twelve Lac. (Only!?)

This is the amount that has gone for a walk in the accounts of certain unscrupulous characters running our nation. This money comes from our taxes paid and was meant for the purposes like rural development, upgradation of rural training institutes, training of farmers etc. So much could have been achieved if this money was put for its intended use.

One example of how our money is being misused is understatement of the balances of the Universal Service Obligation Fund (USO). USO came into effect on he 1st of April 2002, its purpose is to introduce access to basic telegraph facilities in rural and remote areas. I don't know how is basic defined in their dictionary. Cause they have marked 'basic' under quotes and bold text on their site. (http://www.dot.gov.in/uso/usoindex.htm) I'll give you statutory warning, this site is infected and has 5 instances of trojan infections. Please use a firewall and basic discretion.
The way these guys work is by collecting resources under the Universal Access Levy which is payable by all telecom service providers under various licenses. During the period of 2002-2003 to 2007-2008 the USO collected a total amount of Rs. 20404.44 crore and a total disbursement of Rs. 6371.44 crore. So the balance must naturally be 14033 crores. How about ZERO!?!? An amount as huge as Rs. 14033 crores cant just fallout of your wallet!! And it must be one heck of a feast for the ones (in DoT?) who gobbled it all up. Shocked!?! Read this report provided on the link below:
http://www.cag.gov.in/html/reports/civil/2007-08_CA13_civil/chap_2.pdf

It talks about how the entire sum of Rs. 871531200000.00 went missing. This issue was brought up in the parliament and nothing was done about it.

First thing that comes to my mind is to vote the current jokers out of the government. So go ahead and vote!! Vote responsibly after doing some research. Curb corruption going on around you. Dont take and offer bribes. If you are caught at a traffic light refrain from using the customary move 'kya saab mamla khatam karo na' (sir please finish this matter). A sizeable dent in your wallet will stop you making the mistake in the future. You can also do some good to your community by doing some voluntary service. Take the Art of Living course and then help organize more in your area.

Bawa's article on the same topic

Wanna save 20% on petrol?? Read this article for some tips and eye opening facts.

More coming up....
Jai Gurudev

-Jay

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Jokes....

After having failed his exam in “Logistics and Organization”, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student, “Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”

Professor, “Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”

Student, “Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an 'A' for the exam.”

Professor, “Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?”

Student: “What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?”

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an 'A', as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers, “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an 'A', although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical.”

Chocolate Street



For those of you who don't know this place: This is the choco lover's paradise in Mumbai. They call it Manish Market though some people use a different name. But its right beside Manish Market if you are travelling on Mohammed Ali Road. If you are a diabetic like me then stay away if you don't have a strong will (seriously) This place is crammed with chocolates and just looking at it can give the faint of the heart a sugar induced coma. Four lanes of shops each almost 100 meters long and all of them selling different varieties chocolates, candies, mints, jellies, marzipans, liquid chocolate fountains, marshmallows, mawa sweets, dry fruits and everything that can satisfy a sweet tooth at the lowest prices in Mumbai. One 350ml of Thousand Island Sauce that will cost Rs. 220 in Hypercity will cost you only Rs. 140-150 over here. This is where all the wholesalers buy their goods. And you don't need to buy enough to open a shop every time you come here. I always fetch Dark Chocolates, Mints and also a combination of the two. One such popular example is After Eight from Nestle, the Exotica brand available in Haiko's Powai, I dont know if they still stock it though. Or the ultimate Dark Chocolate + Mint chocs Whitaker's Dark Gold. However Exotica and Whitakers are specially imported by Haiko and Hypercity. You'll find many more varieties like a whole new range of Lindt which includes the plain classic Lindor, the mix flavoured Lindts or the premium dark chocolate Ghana range. Then there is Cote D' ur or something spelled like that etc.....

If you are a guy and your girlfriend loves chocolates then this place will earn you a million brownie points and you'll be able to save money too. I don't advise bringing your lady love along with you though. She might have you filing for bankruptcy before the day ends. This place is right after the Dava Bazaar gully when coming from Marine Lines station, try walking cause the traffic in this area is terrible and you'll waste a lot of time and money in a cab. Apart from just chocolates which are only a small part of this market You can also find travel bags, clothes, electronic and loads of other things over here. For sports goods you'll have to head to the Metro cinema lane. I usually come for chocolates here more than anything else. Don't worry I dont eat them, my girlfriend does.



Here's the latest purchase I made, contains mostly mints as she has already got many chocolates and as summer is approaching mints will become an endangered species.

Monday, February 23, 2009

A new weapon of choice

Just got a new table-tennis bat for myself!
I have been playing with my almost ancient GKI-5star which I had bought 6 years back. I still like that bat cause the rubber sheets are still spinny after so much use but now I feel it is the time for more speed rather than spin. And I really like the feel of the Jonyer-H-AN, it has a Red Sriver-FX for the backhand and Black Sriver for the Forehand. Prefer a bit more looping power on my forehand rather than the all out speed of the Sriver-FX. Took a couple of days to get used to the speed. The best thing I love when facing a player for the first time is when they place a shot long on my backhand and the ball blurs past leaving them lunging in futile.
I will buy the Boll TriCarbon with Bryce Speed rubbers as soon as I outgrow this bat (I have seen a player using this combination to lethal effect, I know I know every player is different BLAH BLAH. Thats the reason I am waiting for sometime to buy this bat. And this blade is like a nuclear bomb among other blades.) Till then planning to practise against better players to improve my game. Here's a video of my favourite player Timo Boll for you to see. Have a look and enjoy.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A new venture

Jai Gurudev to all, I am posting after an almost two month long sabbatical. Been fairly busy with the setup of a new venture that me and my family are taking in manufacture of Automotive, Industrial & Speciality Lubricants. Yes you heard (actually read) it right. Moving into the BIG BAD WORLD of lubricants manufacturing. The name of the company is Oiltech Lubricants Private Limited. The company is in its final phase of set-up and the inauguration will take place soon in Tarapur, Boisar. I am currently looking to build a strong network of distributors all over India. So if you are interested and have an expertise in marketing Automotive OR/AND Industrial Lubricants then I'll be happy to welcome you aboard. You can also join if you already are a dealer with another brand and are looking to explore better options. There are tonnes of USP in this brand which I'll be glad to discuss with you. And even if you are not selling my products, please do buy them.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

A mother needs to be protected.

I first offer my prayers to those innocents who were slain and to those braves who were martyred in the line of duty.

Mine is of the many voices that is being raised against this blatant form of brutality. From what I have seen happening from the 26th November, 2008 to the last of the attackers being dropped dead on national television has definitely shaken me. I was at Crawford Market that day and was supposed to go to Dockyard for work. Now sitting at home I wonder how closely I have managed to escape death without knowing it. Both of these locations were hit by the attackers and they surely could have spared a bullet for me if I had crossed them. That night I was frantically calling my friends, family and employees for their safety. Over a hundred people dead and lots more injured. Businessmen, families, train commuters, CEOs, foreigners and maybe some of the hotel too. All of them who have been killed have not yet been recognized by the authorities. We Indians and especially Mumbaites been living under the so called Unshakeable tag for too long now. And its time that others realize that we are resilient by force and not by choice.

Then who is to blame, The Government? But infiltraring the attackers network and preventing these attacks is also no mean feat. And the group that claims responsibility for this is supposedly a new group. Then who do WE, people like YOU & ME that get killed the most can do. Whom do we turn to? Do we keep faith in the system or do we take it to the streets and ask the government to defend us. The first thing that comes to my mind is that I will make sure that I vote for the most elidgible candidate this year in the elections. Because once in five years we get the power to shape our nation and henceforth I'll make sure that I give my stamp of approval after some thought. And we Mumbaites now realize that we are not the invincible breed some of us think we are. I am specially referring to those who are throwing people out of Maharashtra calling them OUTSIDERS. In these dire consequences we can reflect on some topics that wouldn't have come to light.

Firstly did the Thackerays realize that the 200 plus NSG commandos that flew in from New-Delhi to save our lives while they went without a thought to face death were OUTSIDERS too?? Why didn't they bring forward the Marathi Manoos or face the flak themselves as they call themselves soldiers of the soil. DUH? And where are Mr. Balasaheb, Uddhav and Raj Thackeray right now? Are the helping the centre in formulating new security policies? If they have a conscience they wouldn't utter another word regarding this territory rubbish again. And anyone who creates seperatist theories and conflicts within different groups of the nation is a TERRORIST, yes I said TERRORIST himelf. This is not the time to play politics for our national leaders and try and topple this government using these attacks as a spearhead. And neither am I being soft on the ruling side. If they cannot run this country then we will find someone better to do the job. And if you wish to stay in power then we the people of this country want to see some results. We do not wish to step out of our houses not knowing that we will return or not. WHO AM I KIDDING!?!? We are not safe inside our houses too if things keep going this way!!!

And if any one of our leaders are reading this then consider this as a wake-up call (read: wakeup kick in the @**.) And be kind to pass it on to your brethren :)

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Stumped: They Weren't There!!!

An awesome post I saw on Bawa's blog couldn't resist from posting it here.....


An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.





A representative from India began: ‘Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named.
When Rishi Kashyap struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, ‘What a good opportunity to have a bath.’
He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.
When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani had stolen them.
The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and in support of Pakistan , he shouted, ‘What are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren’t there then.
The Indian representative smiled and said, ‘And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.’

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

UURGH!!!!!

Came across this particular brand of drinking mineral water while I was staying in Ahmedabad. I've had no problems with the hygiene in that city. But its the brand name I've found interesting and couldnt resist posting about it.

Thirst?? Just pop a BLISTER!! :p

Friday, September 5, 2008

Comments


I have been receiving quite compliments from people who meet me regularly about my blog and I am registering a good amount of hits on this page too. And I would really like to know your opinions for my posts and what would you like me to include. So please drop your comments and reactions the next time you visit. Dont forget.....
Jai Gurudev to all
Love
Jay

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Stop IDLING. Its like an OVEN out there!!!

'Rain rain go away, come again some other day', surely Bobby Vinton had never visited India and especially Mumbai after the monsoons decide to end so abruptly. For one day it was raining heavily where I live in the suburbs and a couple of days later the sun is scorching on my head. Now being on the suffering end I also started thinking about things like Global Warming. (Not that I am not aware, my entire house runs on energy efficient appliances.) Getting back to the topic, the heat was unbearable at the signal and I was unfortunately (unwittingly) was right near the exhaust line of a BEST bus. I felt the way a cube of cottage cheese would in an oven. The bus driver was waiting for the signal to turn green and was merrily honking away, why I dont know. To top it all he was also revving his bus in neutral which is worse than idling. (Idling is a term used to describe when a vehicle's engine is running and not being used to move the vehicle. Revving or a more brutal form of idling is flooring the accelerator in neutral for god knows what reasons.)Now if all these guys would stop running their engines for the 2 minutes, then we would achieve the following:
Fuel savings and emission

For Large SUVs (CRV, Terracan etc): Min. 22 Liters saved per car/year and 60 KG lesser CO2 per year.

Regular Cars (Esteem, Logan etc): Min 15 Liters saved per car/year and 50-60 KG lesser CO2 per year.

2 Wheelers and Rickshaws: Min 5 Liters saved per bike/year and 10 KG lesser CO2 per year in our already molested atmosphere!!!!


Now branded petrols in India like Speed, Xtra Premium cost Rs. 58-59. For a large SUV the savings would be approximately Rs. 1298.00 and Rs. 295.00 for a bike. Where am I getting with all this? Imagine how many vehicles are stranded for 2 minutes or less at a signal in Mumbai without any congestion. And now imagine the number of vehicles in the entire city of Mumbai. A research conducted in 2007 in Pune showed that the city wastes Rs. 34 CRORE that is Rs. 340 MILLION for people living outside India just by fuel wasted in idling. These figures pertain only to vehicles caught in minor traffic waiting at a signal for 2 minutes.

See it for yourself, here's the link:
http://pune360.com/Editorial/2007/10/31/an-idle-threat/

Cars idling in Delhi burn around 1000 CRORES of fuel a year. That is One followed by TEN freaking zeros!!!!!! And that's just ONE metro in India. The amount of idling caused in traffic jams is unimaginable in a city like Mumbai. Now calculate all the three zones, Western, Central and Harbour. And how many metros are there in our entire nation? You can calculate the harm that is being done to both, our environment
and our economy.

You have the answer for yourself whether to idle away literally or be responsible person towards the society and turn off the keys. I'm literally getting 25 extra kilometers on my bike because I have chosen not to idle at signals or in traffic. You too can make a positive difference to the environment without any extra effort or without giving up on anything and save money while doing that too. So next time you are caught in a jam remember to turn off the engine.

People who think likewise:
http://www.pca.state.mn.us/oea/ee/noidle.cfm
http://www.cleanwateraction.org/njef/campaigns-noidling.html
http://www.zerostart.com/power/no_idle_technology.asp
http://www.airwatchnorthwest.org/wa/NO_IDLE/index.asp

Delhi idling research article in the Times of India

Monday, August 25, 2008

The wonderful bliss of SURRENDER

After posting about everything from recipes and elephants, I am posting about THE MAN himself. His Holiness Sri Sri Ravishankar or Guruji as we all know him is the most easy to love person on earth. And he is the sole reason that I am steady and balanced in life. Its easy to get lost and tongue tied when talking about him. Because a lot of experiences are subtler than words and have o be felt. Here he talks about Surrender with a master's ease.



That people wish to surrender their desire and it becomes another desire in itself, driving one away from his centre. Even the thirst for liberation or surrender should not be feverish. You have to let go of that too. Because letting go is not a process it is simply a state of mind that one experiences when all inhibitions and bondages drop. Then what you desire shall be brought to you in some way or the other by nature. But to surrender to the Divine you must first be in love with the Divine and know that the Divine too loves you immensely :)

PS: Comment on how did you like this post and make sure to read the article 'The four wheels of Sadhana' in this month's edition of Rishimukh.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Fast Food Ganesha


Yesterday was tuesday and the Parsi New Year so a half day at office, so I returned home early and on my way I found this elephant strolling on the lane in front of my house. I thought of giving him something to eat, so I got some bananas from the fruit vendor. Now this big guy had some other ideas. He hardly ate a couple out of the dozen bananas. They had not at all gone bad and when I asked the mahaut whether Ganesha (Name of the elephant) was ill. He surprisingly said that he simply likes bread & sugar cane better than bananas. So I got 2 packs of whole wheat bread and amazingly finished them up and was hungry for more. When he ate the small chocolate fudge brownie kept in my bag. He gave out a loud trumpet in return as thanks. I headed back home turning back for a look at him only to find him facing our area sandwich wala.....

Monday, August 11, 2008

Bachelor Party

Yesterday after having a good round of fast table tennis I returned home to find that the house was devoid of any freshly made food. And my family was out to see a movie. Though my parents had asked me to come for the movie (Jaane Tu...) I refused as I had already seen it.
Now was the chance to see if I can cook a meal rather than just the single odd dish. I got the ingredients from the vegetable vendor who was selling fresh vegetables thankfully on a late sunday evening. The two dishes I had set out to make were Roasted Tomato Soup and Paneer Bhurji (Fresh Cottage Cheese cooked in vegetables and Indian spices.) Amazingly while I was cooking these mouth watering treats I was called up by two people, both of whom were on a onion less, oil free, spice free in short a satvik diet for the Shravan month. Now I can never really figure out why where they grumbling that I told them what I was cooking :D......

All in all it was really fun cooking on my own. It also helped that now I can cook well. Here are the images, I'll post the recipes later.


This is the entire spread consisting of Roasted tomatoes soup, paneer bhurji, brown bread toast and lemonade with honey.....mouth watering isn't it??

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Fun facts

1) Male Sea horses (Not Female) give birth to offspring.

2) Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizzas EVERYDAY!!!!

3) The Spanish word 'Esposa' means wife, the plural form 'Esposas' means Wives but also translates to 'handcuffs.'

4) In the middle ages knights in armour would raise their visors to identify themselves when they ride past their kings. This practice attributed to the modern day salute.

5) One liter of used Motor Oil can ruin upto One Million Liters of fresh water.

6) Ants never sleep.

7) Buttermilk does not contain any butter.

8) Other than fruit, honey is the only natural food that can be made without destroying any form of life.

9) 40% of all indigestion remedies are consumed by americans.

10) If you add up the numbers 1-100 consecutively (1+2+3+4+5 etc) the answer would be 5050.

11) A Bus station is where a bus stops, a Train station is where trains stop then why are employee cubicles called 'WORK STATIONS'??